pet peeves

The Dilemma of Authors on Facebook

It’s a question that comes up all the time on AgentQuery Connect. How (if at all) should authors use Facebook?

After being heavily involved in a couple of online writers’ communities, I ended up with a lot of writer-friends on Facebook. Some are aspiring, some are self-published, some work with (or have founded their own) small presses, some are agented, and some are traditionally published.

I admit, I’ve been cutting back on my Facebook use because it’s gotten overwhelming. Book release parties, announcements for signings, groups for these authors, groups for those authors … and that’s in addition to the invites, groups, and requests to play some game or another that I get from non-writing friends.

Slightly overwhelming, especially when I want to keep my Facebook check-in time brief.

I tried just ignoring things, focusing on what I prioritized, but darn if Facebook doesn’t make notifications obnoxious. If I get added to a group, I get a notification every time someone (or a friend, at least) posts in that group. If I get invited to an event, I get a notification when a friend posts in that event, even before I’ve gone in to say Join, Maybe, or Decline.

So, I say no. Not to everything, but to a lot of things.

Turns out for some of these things (Events, at least), the person in charge gets notified when I decline. Enter the guilt.

Cluttering feeds doesn’t sell books. Neither do guilt trips (at least not for me). How, then, does one effectively use Facebook as an author?

I’ll throw a few ideas out there, all of them theoretical from my perspective, and all of them just my opinion. I’m sure others will disagree.

Use a separate page. Either an Author Page or a Book Page for a specific book/series. Whatever you like. Let us know the page is there (and link to it conveniently on your blog/website), and then use that page for posting promotional information.

Don’t double-dip. This might just be me. If so, no problem. I’ll chalk it up to another of my picky quirks. But once you have that separate page, don’t simul-post the same information to both it and your personal account. Sure, some people will only see one or the other, but those of your friends who also Liked your page? Shows up twice back-to-back.

Be judicious in your use of Events and Groups. I’m fine with the occasional event invitation. When Events are created for every little thing, though, it crosses into the land of annoyance. I’ve never set up an Event, but I assume it’s possible to not invite ALL your Facebook friends. Choose invitees mindfully. Groups are especially tricky since Facebook allows you to add friends to groups without really asking them.
Think before you add—Does this person really fit the parameters of this group?

Don’t take it personally. If a friend declines an invitation or leaves a group you added them to, don’t assume it means they hate you, or are jerky poo-heads. Everyone has their own way of using Facebook, and maybe your event or group doesn’t fit in their model. And remember that it’s much more likely to reflect an annoyance with Facebook and its settings than you personally.

Do you have any tips or tricks for making Facebook use easier? Pet peeves of your own that you’ve seen done by writers? What ways do you see Facebook working for authors?

Speak up:

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Looking for Love in All the Lame Places

I’m admittedly picky about reality television. It’s a mixed bag, as I’m sure anyone who’s glanced at any would agree. I like talent-based shows (America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance?) and competitions like The Amazing Race. That last one sometimes devolves into drama and pettiness, which I’m not so crazy about. I’ve only watched a couple of seasons of Survivor for the same reason.

For me (my personality, disposition, whatever), the absolute worst are the dating shows.

Full disclosure: I’ve never actually watched so much as a single episode of The Bachelor. My opinion is based entirely on commercials and listening to other people talk about the shows. It’s been more than enough for me. Every time I see those commercials, I find myself yelling at the TV.

And there are so many of them now. Love in the Wild (dating show meets Survivor). Take Me Out. The Choice (dating show meets The Voice … clearly).

I might’ve been interested in Beauty and the Geek if they’d made it hot guys and a brainy girl. Maybe. A friend in college claimed if you pay attention to wedding announcement photos, the guy and gal are either equally attractive or the girl is distinctly better looking. So seeing that flipped around could have at least intrigued me.

With this many shows, though, clearly people are interested. There’s a reason for the popularity. Something I can’t see, I guess. Is it seeing the shallow interplay, mocking it, or is there something more?

If any of you are fans and can enlighten me, I’d love to hear about it.

Are there things that are popular with others and you just don’t understand?

Speak up:

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The Undefinable, Undeniable Teen

What are teenagers like?

Don’t answer that. No matter what you say, you’re wrong. Unless you say something like, “Depends on the teen,” or, “As varied as adults, toddlers, senior citizens, or anything else.” Those are cop-outs anyway.

Teens (like so many other groups) get a lot of generalizations applied to them. Like every other generalization or stereotype, you can point to textbook cases where they’re true, and often just as many where they’re utterly false.

Example: Teens are irresponsible.

If we’re judging based on how some of them drive, then absolutely. On the other hand, I know teens who budget their money, make sure to take their car in for regular oil changes, and warn me two weeks in advance that they’ll be missing school and need their homework.

The whole essence of “teenager” is that it’s this amorphous time between childhood and adulthood where they have several traits of both stages at the same time … and those traits are often in flux from one moment to the next.

This is on my mind today because of a particular pet peeve of mine—talking to teens like they’re little kids.

I can’t fathom how common this is in schools. Not like all teachers do it, or even most, but enough to puzzle me. I’ve often wondered—but have never had the guts to ask one of the perpetrators—why they talk to students as they do. They’re not rude or anything. It’s just this tone and approach to interacting with students that I know would drive me bonkers if I were a teen.

Do they really regard teenagers as roughly the same as elementary students? I don’t know.

I can’t say I treat students exactly the same as I treat adults, or even talk to them exactly the same way. But it’s close. I try to acknowledge that they’re in that transition, which means they’re partway adult, but still in flux.

Maybe this attitude in teaching has informed my writing, because I try really hard to never talk down (write down?) to my audience.

And maybe that consciousness is why that “I’m talking like you’re nine years old” tone drives me nuts.

Speak up:

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An Undeserved Rant, Perhaps

Lots of people have been getting good news lately—yay, good news! But in the congratulations, I’ve seen the following phrase come up a lot:

You deserve it.

This kept standing out to me, and it got me thinking. What does it mean to “deserve” something?

Okay, I know what it means. Somehow by our character or actions, we qualify to receive whatever we’ve gotten. But it kept bugging me.

In ASL, we generally use the same sign for “deserve” and “earn,” and in a lot of cases, they feel pretty interchangeable. So why does something tell me they’re not the same thing this situation? Maybe it’s this:

What does not getting it mean?

If some particular good-thing hasn’t happened for me, does that mean I don’t deserve it? (And of course, this doesn’t just go for me, but anyone who hasn’t gotten whatever that good-thing is.) Please don’t say that’s true, because I’m plenty good at beating up on myself already. 😉

Or then there’s this:

What if someone doesn’t deserve it but gets it anyway?

Clearly if there’s any real meaning to “deserving” anything, it’s possible to be undeserving. So if there are people who deserve but don’t get, there are likely people who get but don’t deserve.

But what does any of that mean? And how does anyone decide? What is it based on?

What’s the point of saying it? Maybe everyone deserves everything, or no one deserves anything. Either way, the statement feels empty to me.

Personally, I’m going to stick to the following:

Congratulations.

Or something along those lines. Because maybe they deserve it, maybe they don’t, but it doesn’t matter. They got it.

Whatever “it” is. 🙂

Speak up:

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