"Get Your Foot in the Door" Contest
Here’s another contest, this one over at Gabriela Lessa’s site and judged by one of four Sourcebooks editors (depending on genre). One-sentence pitch and the first paragraph (or two as long as the total is under 170 words). Checking out other entries is part of the fun, so here goes.
UPDATED
One-Sentence Pitch: When telepathic Ziv’s newly normal life is interrupted by a military request, she must decide if she belongs in humanity’s war, or on Earth at all.
Opening Paragraphs: Blades of grass brush my toes, forcing me to suppress a shudder. Textures like this still feel unnatural, wrong. Too irregular and unpredictable. Shouldn’t have worn sandals. Despite my physical reaction, I continue across the lawn toward school. If I force myself to endure it enough times, maybe I’ll finally get used to it.
A familiar voice calls out behind me. As I stop to let Khalil catch up, his golden-bronze skin seems to radiate the warmth of the sun back out to the world. Not for the first time, I wonder if he finds my pale face as cold as I do. The thought is interrupted by a tickle on my foot, different from the grass. A ladybug crawls across my toe, and I reflexively clench my fists, not letting myself fritz out.
Love the paragraphs, but I feel as though something is missing from the one-sentence pitch. I know the MC is supposed to be mysterious, but I think a quick word as to what she is would help clarify why the military is asking for her help.
Good luck! 🙂
I agree with MarcyKate and my only other question involves whether you can use the third paragraph or not, as the rules say only two.
Thanks, both. I forgot to repost after rewriting to avoid the two-word dialogue paragraph. Will update now. 🙂
Well, I’m not going to be very helpful. It looks good to me.
All I can say is good job and good luck!
This is great – I love the voice and the language. And the premise sounds very interesting. Good luck!
I like the one sentence pitch. I think it is good that it leaves you asking questions – because then you want to read more.