stereotypes
I Need a New Category for Myself
I’m not particularly girly. While I wear makeup and the occasional skirt and high heels, I’ve never had a manicure. I don’t get excited over things like shopping sprees and spa getaways. I’m not crafty, and I don’t knit. If people are coming over (I can’t say I’m having a party, because I can’t think of the last time that happened), the last thing that occurs to me is decorating or making a cute centerpiece.
But I’m not a tomboy, either. I played soccer when I was a kid, and I don’t mind watching football games with my mom now and then. Like I said, though, skirts and heels and makeup aren’t foreign to me. I never had that comfortable buddy-buddy relationship with guys that goes along with the tomboy stereotype.
Yes, I just answered my own question. These ideas of “girly” and “tomboy” that I’m working off of are stereotypes. That doesn’t change the fact that I see/meet people who seem to fit in with one or the other, and I don’t quite identify.
What do I identify with? Seems to depend on what group I’m with at the time.
When I’m hanging out with authors, I often feel like the math-geek. At least, that’s the role I seem to play. And that definitely plays into my author side, with the whole science fiction angle and everything.
When I’m with other math teachers, I feel like the weirdo who actually knows how to spell and talk about things like “tightening prose” and whatnot. (Doesn’t mean there aren’t others who know, too … but they tend to keep it to themselves.)
Am I normal in this? Is that what we do? Feel like the trait that most defines us is the one least like those around us at that moment?
What does all this rumination imply for the characters I write? Hopefully that even when a character has some traits that fall solidly within a stereotype, they also have other layers adding nuance and complexity.
That’s what people are, right? Complicated and hard to categorize.
In other words … I’m normal and can stop worrying now.
Speak up:
1 commentEpiphany of the Week: Hot Girls Can Be Smart
Not my epiphany … that of a 9th grade boy. A very girl-crazy 9th grade boy. (“Aren’t they all?” you say. No, not really. Not like this.)
The student in question was in my room, discussing with another student how astounded he was to discover this older girl (cheerleader, no less) is super-smart and able to help him with his math homework. I said (uh, pretty sarcastically), “Incredible, isn’t it? A hot girl and she’s smart?”
He could’ve really dug himself into a hole then, but he managed a save. “I know! But then I thought about it, and there’s [names several girls in his grade who fit in the cute-and-popular category and have high academic achievement].”
It struck me that teens can be a little one-dimensional in their thinking, but they can also add dimensions to their view pretty easily when they let themselves.
It parallels the experience I often have when students find out I write fiction. “But you teach math!” Like they’re these mutually exclusive things. Like I have to fit neatly into a stereotype.
Then there was the time a student reported that one of the English teachers had said English is harder to teach than math. (I hope she was joking around. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know.) I teased back that he should tell her we can switch places for a day and we’ll see what happens, because I know a thing or two about English.
Really, though … why must we try to fit people into these boxes? The analytical side of me can see the appeal of simple categorization. It keeps things organized. Much easier to split things into hot blondes (in the blonde-joke sense) and ugly nerds, math people and English people, jocks and band-geeks.
Real people tend to have overlap somewhere, though. More often than not, a lot of overlaps. That’s trickier to wrangle with, but makes life a lot more interesting.
On a quick writing note … I’m always glad to see characters that reflect the kind of multifaceted-ness I see in real-life teens. Sometimes, though, I find that one or more of those blended aspects lacks authenticity. The cute, popular girl who reports she loves math/science and is good at it … but doesn’t show any of the thinking processes that go with skills in those areas. Not that she can’t still make stupid decisions—all humans do sometimes. But saying she’s “that kind of smart” isn’t the same as behaving like a person who really is, with all the complexity that includes.
I guess that makes another case for “Show, Don’t Tell.”